August 15, 2008

Memories, Love, Time

School starts on Monday. My oldest, C, will be in 2nd grade this year. My baby, J, is starting Pre-K. Until today, I've been able to convince myself that it was only Pre-K, not "real" school. But today we went to school and met the teacher. And now it's all too real to me. My baby is starting school. He's not my baby anymore. This is not something that is easily realized. This is hard to accept, to deal with. It seems like only yesterday that I gave birth to him, and yet here he is starting school.

C is in 2nd grade, and though I had a rough day the day he started kindergarten, I am now comfortable with his first days. I make sure he knows where his classroom is, give him a hug and a kiss, and we all go on our merry ways. I'm afraid, though, that I will have a much tougher time come Monday with J. Even though I knew this day was coming, and have known for a very long time, it just seems to have snuck up on me. Here I am, rolling along with a soon-to-be 2nd grader, and my 4 yr old baby, and then BOOM! It's time for my baby to be in school.

There are too many things in my life that I want to change, and can't do anything about.