How Things Change

Before I had kids, dating was easy. I was free whenever I wanted to go out, and I could date guys who were of slightly iffy character, because I didn't have to worry about anyone but me. And I (stupidly in retrospect) thought that I could take care of myself just fine and had nothing to worry about.

My ex-husband changed all of that. Not just because he gave me the two kids that I now have to worry about, but because he was such a major *insert REALLY dirty word here* that my standards have gotten drastically higher.

While they are higher, I don't think my standards are really that much to ask. I want a man that is mentally stable (by mentally stable I mean don't tell me aliens are your best friend or that you're in love with me 5 seconds after we met). I want someone who actually wants to be with me, and is willing to give up other women to do so. Someone who can make me laugh, and who, although he might have the power to break my heart, won't actually do it just because he can. And is it really so much to ask that he be honest? And I don't just mean on the big things. If you're 28, tell me that. Don't lie and say you're 39. I mean, really. I can tell just by looking at you that you're not. And oh, if you're married, pass me by. I know what it's like to be the wife sitting at home thinking my husband is out with his "buddy" while in reality he's banging the bartender at his favorite bar. Now, I'm not a bartender, but I refuse to play her role in your version.

My friends keep telling me that I can find guys who meet these standards. I hope they're right. E is certainly nice enough, so they're probably right. But E and I are only going to be friends, I think. I did just start talking to someone else, and so far, he seems really nice. We've only had a couple of conversations so far, though, so we'll see.

And on another note, if you want a really good laugh, find a 6 yr old boy and teach him to sing "Superfreak". J heard this on the Visa commercial the other day, and for the last week has run around the house singing, "She's a superfreak, superfreak, she's superfreaky". It might not be entirely appropriate, but it is completely hilarious.

Halloween

My sons have decided that this year, they want to be lizards for Halloween. Not only that, but they want me to MAKE the costumes. Do you know the enormity of this task? The easiest I can find is using a pillowcase and even that one does not sound as simple as I would like. Why can't children pick easy things to be, like a hobo (I can throw old clothes on them, let them roll around in the dirt and there we are), or a vampire or something?

This weekend, we are going to the local farm for their Fall Fun Nights. They have a hay maze, a reptile exhibit in the barn, a moonlight hayride, and some other really interesting things. The boys are excited beyond belief at the thought of going to the farm after dark, wandering a maze and riding through a cow pasture, smelling manure and looking at the moon. My mom is going to go with us, since my ankle is not yet 100%. I need a little back up in case something happens.

Then, on Halloween, or rather the day before, we are going to go to a haunted house that is being held here in town. This I am a bit nervous about, I will admit. Wandering in the dark, thru a maze, with someone who doesn't know I've been injured intentionally trying to scare me. Yeah, that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Yet, I will do it, for my children. It is amazing the lengths we go to to make our children happy and keep them entertained.

There's also a haunted woods being hosted by a local cub scout troop, but I am very hesitant about that one. Wandering in the woods with someone intentionally trying to scare me sounds even more disasterous than the maze. Maybe next year.

Thursday night, we have a school function to go to. They serve dinner, and then they are going to talk to us about helping our kids read and give us tips on helping them get excited and wanting to read. This will be the 4th time I've gone, and frankly, I'm a little tired of it. It's the same stuff every year. But, the boys get very excited about eating dinner at school, and since it's a meal that I don't have to cook, we go. One year, they had a little fair outside, with a bouncy house, an inflatable slide, fire truck, and the county sheriff's helicopter. That was much more fun than the typical. Unfortunately, we're back to the typical.

They have a new principal at the school this year. Mr. Z retired at the end of the last school year. I only met him once, or maybe twice, but he certainly seemed involved and to care about the students. This new principal, Mr. C claims to care about the school, and the students, and to listen to your concerns. I personally doubt his sincerity. It's difficult to put into words, but when I had to meet with him a couple of weeks ago about my concerns with my son's homework and his substitute teacher, I felt very strongly that although his words indicated concern and that he would try to eliminate my concerns, that his intention was to simply get me out of his office. As I told a friend of mine later that afternoon, one who also has a student there and who doesn't like Mr. C, I'll let it go for now, but the moment I think my son's education is being impacted by this man and his seeming lack of concern, I will be back in that school, and I will make sure something is done, even if it ends up being that I remove my children from that school and send them somewhere else or homeschool them. I don't want to resort to that, I love this school and so far, I have always felt my children were getting an above average education there, considering FCAT and all the other things that inhibit teachers from giving a real education, but I will not have my children suffer under the rule of a principal that doesn't truly care about his students and is only in it for the politics.

I've gotten a few responses to my online dating profile. And I've responded to a few profiles on my own. We'll see where things go. It helps if they're honest with me about facts, like you know...age, marital status, having kids. I mean, do you really think when you're 28 and you tell me that you're 39 that I won't eventually find out? And while I'm flattered that you are so interested in me, you're willing to lie and make yourself older in order to get my attention, I'm not THAT flattered.

Dating is hard when you have kids...

So, as I mentioned in my previous post, I've begun dating again. Well...sort of. I am talking to someone, call him E, but we've yet to have an actual "date". I don't think it's for lack of trying though. He tries to ask me out, but he does it at the last minute, which is not a good thing when you have kids. I can't just pick up and go, although pre-kids, I would have.

Anyway, last night is a good example. We were chatting online and then decided to chat on the phone instead. It was about 8pm. We were chatting, and then he asked me if I'd had dinner yet. I said yes, because the kids and I had eaten early. He then said he was getting ready to make some pasta with shrimp. He was trying to ask me to dinner, but since it was last minute, I'd already eaten and getting a sitter would have proven...well, impossible.

He's very nice, and he expresses a real interest in me. I hate it when men try to "play it cool" and pretend they aren't interested. That just drives me nuts. He has a stutter, which although mildly distracting, I also find rather sweet and attractive. But we do seem to have that stumbling block of him not really getting it that I have kids and can't just pick up and go at the drop of a hat. So, we'll see.

And on another note, I found out today that my ex-husband is engaged. This is not distressing news to me, although he and his ego probably think it is or should be. I actually find it rather amusing. I almost (key word here being "almost") feel sorry for her. She has no idea what she is getting herself into. This actually could be a very good thing for me, and my children, because if he marries her and focuses on having children with her, he will not bother to come around and try to influence my children. Some people would say that I am wrong for feeling this way, but when you look at his past history, and the kind of person he is, I have very strong, valid reasons for not wanting him to be an influence on my sons. And anything that gets him going the opposite direction from us is something that I welcome.

The weather has cooled off considerably this weekend, and although it will not last, I welcome it. It is beautiful, and I love being able to sit outside while the kids play without feeling like I could be served with potatoes and carrots for dinner. In fact, right now it is 12:10pm and only 58 degrees outside. Lovely!

And on that note, I think I will take the kids outside.

Life (and my computer) has moved on...

Well, since my last post many things have happened. The most recent of which being that I had to replace my computer. I was having tons and tons of trouble, not the least of which being that I had no sound at all (which, after getting the new computer, I discovered was actually the monitor and NOT the computer). So, I got a new computer, which is actually pretty cool anyway. It has Vista, which I am so far finding to be much easier than XP. We'll see, though.

On another note, I've also managed to have start, have, and end a fairly serious relationship. I actually got back together with an old boyfriend, only to discover that he is....well, the nicest way to put this is to say he is unstable. He holds some...ideas that are not only hard to swallow, but difficult not to find terrifying. On top of which, he also has a drinking problem, one which he not only will not acknowledge, but not get help for either. More problems than I can deal with.

So, our shortlived relationship lasted 5 months. When he told me aliens were standing at his front door looking in at him, the words "I think we need to see other people" tumbled out of my mouth before I even realized I wanted to say them. That was about a month ago, I guess.

I've moved on. I have actually posted a profile on a couple of dating sites, and so far have met one or two nice guys. Well, "met" might not quite be the right word. We talk online, and have spoken on the phone a time or two. I've also managed to find a crazy or two. That seems to be my life. I find a nice guy, and two crazy men tag along behind him. I have been talking to one though that although we have not talked much, I think he's very nice. He is very, very cute, and he seems incredibly sweet. We'll see where it goes, and if nothing else, I think he'll make a great friend.

The kids are back in school. C has a sub right now, for the next 5 weeks or so, which his regular teacher is out on maternity leave. This has been a struggle. C and the sub do not get along well at all. And I myself have had a run in with her, although I will admit that part of mine may have been impacted by the fact that at first sight, she strongly reminded me of my dead grandmother, whom I did not get along with at all. J is in Kindergarten this year, and he is doing splendidly so far. He's had few behavior issues, and his academics are outstanding. I'm hoping it will stay this way.

They both have field trips coming up in the next couple of weeks, one to the local petting farm, the other to a local museum. They should both have loads of fun. We, as a family, are going to go to the farm next weekend for their Fall Fun Nights, where they have a hay maze, a reptile exhibit, a nighttime hay ride, and many other things. Halloween night, or somewhere right around then, we are going to a haunted house. Trick or treating is an iffy proposition this year, as one of the other recent developments was breaking my ankle.

Back in July, I broke my ankle when I stepped in a hole the dog dug. I broke it in two places, and had to have surgery. Two screws were put in the joint of my ankle. I have only recently (as in Tuesday) begun walking with absolutely no assistance. I got off the crutches mid-September, but still had to wear a walking boot. Now, I'm boot free! It still hurts, but not as bad. The progress is very very slow, but very very sure.

Well, that's all the updates for now.